


"Who Are You?"

by infinityletters



Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: Alzheimers, Bisexual, Bisexual Male Character, Gay, Gay Love, Hospital, Love, M/M, SPN - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform, imsorrynotsorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-18 10:06:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3565688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinityletters/pseuds/infinityletters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean Winchester's 80th birthday rolls around, Tessa the reaper ends up next to him begging him to take death and leave with her to go to heaven instead of living on Earth with an unaging Castiel and Alzheimers. But can Castiel handle that? Can Castiel let go?</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Who Are You?"

Castiel inhaled a deep breath as he shuffled towards the nurse’s counter. Slowly, he curled his lips upwards to the tan skinned woman, glowing in her pink scrubs. “How may I help you?” she questions in a sing-song voice, reminding Castiel of his heaven who used to greet him every morning. A pang of sadness hits Castiel’s insides, hurting more than any torture he was ever put through. He gestures his hand towards the clipboard, looking up into the eyes of the nurse. Smiling, she hands him the clipboard to sign into the visitor chart. Castiel slips his hand over the counter to her hand-painted #1 Nurse cup that haphazardly hold pens, pencils, scissors, and a wonderful bee pen that delighted Castiel as he reaches for one of the pens. He returns her smile as he plops down onto one of the many green hospital waiting chairs. Castiel looks down towards the paper labeled, ‘KANSAS MEMORIAL HOSPITAL VISITING HOUR SIGN-IN’. He attempts to fill in the boxes:

Date – January 24th, 2060

Time In – 6:00 am

Time Out – 9:00 pm

Name –

Castiel hesitates. He’s always taken his vessels surname as his own, but, he’s never really been Jimmy Novak. Castiel tries writing the words  
without depression, yet still, tears plant themselves in the corners of his eyes.

Name – Castiel Winchester

Castiel stands too quickly, blurring his vision and forcing him to wobble onto one foot. A memory flashes into his mind of the last time he was that dizzy. It was the first time he had confessed his love to Dean. Years ago, 2015, when Dean had become a demon because of the Mark of Cain, the angel knew he had finally lost his chance; as he gripped Dean tightly as the demon bellowed out, the angel knew that the man he had fallen for, was gone. Sam and Castiel chained De- the demon in the dungeon, and planned the demon cure out for it to have. Castiel drew enough blood from Sam for the evil thing inside of Dean’s skin. “Sam, I do believe you look pale. You should go lay down somewhere in the bunker. I’ll finish this.” Castiel began as Sam started to try to interrupt him, “No. No objections. Go. Now.”

The demon began to chuckle as the last echoing footsteps of Sam began to fade until suddenly it was nothing. Castiel looked down on the demon, into his green eyes that were no longer alive with the light of Dean Winchester. The demon smiled as he shifted his eyes to a blackness darker than Hell itself. “Oh so you want to be alone with me, do you little Cassy? Hmm? Wanna be alone with the man you fell for?”

Castiel snatched a needle and plunged it into Dean’s neck, not giving the demon any time to react. With a roar of anguish, the demon smirked. It was only the beginning.

“You know nothing of how I fell or why I did. You only know what Dean does, and you will never be him.”

He turned his back on the man he loved, and clutched the edges of the table. Could he really do this? Castiel attempted to try and pry the answer out of his mind, when suddenly it was interrupted by Dean’s voice. “Come on, Cas. We’re family, I need you. Remember? You shouldn’t be doing this to family. Besides, you know I know what Dean did. I know how you invaded his personal space, how you always knew when something was even the slightest bit off, hell you paid more attention to him than his own brother did! Memorized his movements, his voice when he’s upset,” The demon’s voice begins to whisper. “Thought of him in bed…”  
Castiel saw nothing but red and heard nothing but roars of laughter and pain as the demon tortured him for five hours. When, at last,  
it came to the final needle, Dean practically gave his neck to Castiel. “Cas?” The green-eyed demon whispered.

Like a fool he responded, “Yes, Dean?”

“Cas, buddy, you’re not gonna believe me when I say this, cause I feel like a frickin’ pansy saying it, but remember when you took a swim in that lake with the leviathan squirming around inside of you? Well, when I took your trench coat out of the water, and rolled it in a heaping wet ball of you, I could barely hold the tears in. You were gone; my best friend, my angel, just gone. And I- And I couldn’t even save you. I was messed up until I saw you in that blue sweater with that god awful name Emmanuel from bouncingbabynames.com and, I felt my whole world turn right side up for once. You and your blue eyes got my stomach in a knot and my heart running miles; and I could barely keep up. You’ve always been my angel, my guardian angel, my sweet… sweet angel… and I can’t thank you enough for staying by my side no matter what. Castiel, you were the only one who never left. Me neither my heart. God, it’s like I’m in a chick flick ya know?”

Castiel had his back turned to the man, he couldn’t let him see the teardrops streaming down his pale face. This had to be the demon talking; Dean would never say such beautiful things, such, “girly” things. But, was it wrong for him to want to believe that Dean Winchester thought about him in that way? With an orderly, angelic voice, Castiel spoke, “Yes, Dean, I see.”

“No, no you don’t Cas, because, I- I love you and I don’t care who knows it anymore. I wanna hold you and kiss you until your lips are raw. I wanna paint your collarbone in black and blue kisses and make love to you for the first time. But it-it’s not just the physical stuff, ya know? It’s more than that. It’s our profound bond Cas. It’s our profound bond! I wanna play Sorry! with you and grill you cheeseburgers to your heart’s content. I wanna wrap a blanket around us like I do with Sammy and watch endless hours of chick flicks if it means I can be by your side. Cas, Castiel, I love you.”

With one motion Castiel was sitting in Dean’s lap, pressing his forehead against his Dean’s own harder than he intended. “Did you really mean that?” Castiel whispered, his eyes shut tight, trying desperately not to lose the battle against his tear ducts. Still, one slipped through and poured down his face, landing onto Dean’s maroon shirt. “Oh, baby, don’t cry-“ Dean’s strangled voice murmurs as he tries desperately to wipe away the tears now streaming from Castiel’s face, yet fails due to the chains and handcuffs bounding him to the spot. “God- GOD DAMN THESE CHAINS! Cas, Cas baby, look up at me, look up.”

Castiel looks into Dean Winchester’s bright green eyes and jumps off of him, starting to undo his chains, when suddenly a voice booms out from behind Castiel. “Don’t Cas, it’s not Dean, not yet.” Yanking his entire body off of the ground and into the taller brother’s face, Castiel yells, “AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR BROTHER ISN’T REALLY THERE? HUH? BECAUSE ALL I’M HEARING IS-“

“Cas, look.”

With a slow turn, Castiel looks into the now blackened eyes of Dean Winchester.

“No...” Cas whispers softer than his own ears could hear.

“But yes! Oh, how I almost had you there. You almost let me go. Well, let’s get it rolling then, since I won’t be getting out of this hellhole any time soon.”

Sam reaches up with a tear in his eye and places a hand onto a broken Cas. Nodding, Sam moves forward to pick up the final needle and incantation, and Castiel doesn’t stop him. Castiel only sinks to his knees and puts his head in his hands, thinking of how much of a fool he was for even believing for a second that Dean Winchester could ever love him. Before Sam had time to shove the needle into Dean’s neck, he yelled, “Ya know I was still telling the truth, the freak actually does love you, well did, does, will. However you wanna place it. All I did was say it for my advantage. I’m a demon, I know, a knight of hell, I know thank you for the roses, but sometimes we do tell the truth.”

And with that the final incantation was said, and holy water flung onto Dean until it suddenly stopped burning him. With a smirk on Dean’s face and green eyes shining bright, he questioned, “So what’d I miss?”

Castiel shook his head free of the memory that had allowed several teardrops to escape and land onto the paper beneath him. He stood up, suddenly aware of where he was and what time it had to be by now, and then he remembered why he was there. Him. Standing up abruptly, Castiel’s vision blacked out, rendering him useless when walking, then running into the nurse’s counter. “Whoops.” He muttered, as he regained his ability to see. The nurse covered her mouth to keep herself from laughing. Ducking his head, Castiel nodded and walked through the double doors.

The entire room smelled of applesauce and death. Everywhere he looked he could see dying people, but then he spotted someone who made everything and everyone else disappear. “Dean…” He whispered, barely audible for his own ears to hear. Memories of the young, bright green eyed boy and the blue eyed angel flickered throughout his memory; the beach, the love, the family moments they created. Everything seemed like it was okay. Castiel began smiling, however, once he looked back at his hunter, a reaper stood beside him. He dared sparing a glance over at the reaper and recognized her immediately. Tessa. In a soft whisper, Castiel spoke, “Why are you here? It can’t be his time. Not yet.” Tessa seemed to look confused, then suddenly recognizes Castiel. Why must it be the angel?

“Castiel, he’s suffering. The only reason he stays is because of you. Like in Hell he refuses every single day to not leave with me, and I am running out of patience. If you don’t convince him to leave, and go to his rightful place in heaven, then I must leave him here, to suffer and die a horrible death and have nowhere to go. He’ll drift and you’ll never see him again.”

A pang of pain surged throughout his entire body as he collapsed onto his knees onto the floor. With a loud thud, Castiel sat beside his hunter, his baby, on the floor. Dean opened his eyes from his nap, and he realized who it was who came to him. “Cas.”  
“Hello, my love. How- How are you today?” He couldn’t hide the pain in his voice, seeping down his throat and into his stomach where pangs of guilt struck him harder and harder, each and every time.

“Who are you? Where is my Cas?” He closed his eyes and began to pray to Castiel, even though he stood right in front of him. “Cas, buddy, I need you. I gotta talk to you.”

Castiel began to cry as he looked from Tessa to Dean Winchester, who always prayed to the man in the trench coat, even when he thought all hope was lost and even when he thought Castiel was against him, Sam, and Bobby. Dean opened his tired, yet bright green eyes yet again and still, the man in the trench coat sat in front of him. “Why are you still here? Go! Get! I’m waiting for someone and it’s my birthday today so he’ll do somethin’ extra special for me. Like a burger. Oooo I haven’t had a burger in what feels like eons cause’ of these damn teeth.” He looked at the man once again.

“Who are you?”

“Oh, baby, if I had known it had gotten this bad…” as he reached up and touched two fingers to Dean’s forehead. Giving him, once again, all of the memories they had together, from the time in the barn where Dean shot at Castiel, to the time today, including his own memories. Opening his bright green eyes, it seemed as if he was twenty years old again. Dean shot down next to Cas and held him even though every bone within him hurt. “So you know?”

“Yes, Dean, my love, I know everything.”

“Then you must know I can’t go. I can’t. I can’t leave you.”

“You can see me in heaven, it’ll finally give me an excuse to go back. Please, baby, go.”

“I’d rather live every day in this Hell with you then go to heaven where you couldn’t find me.”

Tears began streaming down both of their faces. “Dean, soul mates can share heavens- “

“BUT IT DOESN’T COUNT IF YOU’RE AN ANGEL CAS! It doesn’t work…”

Castiel pulled Dean in as he began to heave sobs into Castiel’s firm chest. “I would find you.” Suddenly, Dean stops crying and looks up into Castiel’s blue, tear stained eyes.

“Who are you?”


End file.
